How Great is Our God!

Today, church was really amazing. God definitely met with me and broke me for the lost that are around me. It was such a sweet time of brokeness. Our pastor just returned from India and challenged us to live with the gospel as our number one priority. I am so thankful to go to a church that speaks truth!

I was reminded of this experience today at church, and actually every time I sing the song "How Great is Our God". It fit well with the topic of missions, but its also just one of my favorite memories of my 22 years here on this earth.

Two summers ago I went to East Asia. I met a girl named Katherine there. She was the asian me! She was so fun and we laughed A LOT!! She said awkward things like, "Sara you shouldn't drink coffee because it makes your "chest area" smaller." Since I love to say awkward stuff like that...we were SO friends!

We also could have serious talks. I was so blessed that God gave me the opportunity and time to share the gospel with her. Actually, we had planned to watch this movie about Jesus' life, because she had wanted to know about Christianity, she was a devout Buddhist, but she was interested in knowing the differences. But the movie didn't work on her computer so then I just got my Bible and got to share the INDEPTH story of Jesus' life.

When I was finished I was so nervous if I had communicated the details well and if she understood. All she did was look at me and say the words I will never forget...

"Sara, the only words I can say is, God is great."

It was beautiful. The Lord had spoken His greatness to her in her apartment through my mixed up crazy words. She didn't believe in that moment, but in that moment she acknowledged His greatness.

That is why that song, "How Great is Our God" means something different to me. It's a call to missions. When I sing the line, "sing with me, How Great is Our God", I think of Katherine and how she was ready to sing about His greatness after hearing about Him. It's a call to go and tell people about Jesus so that they can stand with me in their own language and sing about how great our God is.

Katherine believe in Christ 2 weeks later. She denounced Buddhism, though she had a devout Buddhist family, and she joined the Kingdom of God. She wrote this in her journal the night she believed and shared it with me the next day,

"Jesus is my Lord! Jesus is the sacrificer. He died for us. I accept Jesus! I did evil deeds, and I know I am sinful. But tonigh I am reborn. I feel finding home after 26 years of losing my way."

I will never forget that as long as I live. This beautiful girl will always be a reminder of the greatness of our God.

Peace through Tears

My eyes have been kinda watery lately.

It's just another time when I remember why I do not EVER purchase mascara that is not waterproof.

I’m a crier. I actually love to cry and am really not embarrassed to do it in front of people. But I have to remember that it embarrasses some people. Like this weekend, Ryan and I were at dinner at this adorable little Italian restaurant and this stud of a man that I am so blessed to be dating asked me if there was anything more he could do to make me feel secure in our relationship as he headed off to malawi. WOW...I dont think you even have to be a cry-kinda person to let out tears in that situation. I wanted to hold back tears so I wouldn't embarrass him in public (or put our waiter in an awkward positon), but I am not really good at that.

So I told him, "Just to let you know, I am going to cry. Is that going to embarrass you? Because if so, then maybe we can talk about this later." But he was so amazing, he wasn't embarrassed. He is one incredible guy!

Anyways, the reason tears came into my eyes is that today Ryan leaves for Malawi. He is this amazing guy that has been obedient to the Lord's call. So this means he is not going to be here for 9 months. I am so happy to know this man who is choosing to be obedient, and to fear God more than he fears tears of his girlfriend. It is so exciting!

The most amazing thing in this is that this weekend, every time I cried, it was tears accompanied with peace. Because I am a crier, I know that there are many types of tears.

There are...

tears of joy

tears of heartache

tears of conviction

tears of insecurity

tears of shame

tears of thankfulness

tears of sadness

tears of loneliness

I have known them all. I have spent intimate time with each one of these types of tears, but very rarely do I get to experience tears of sadness accompanied with peace. It’s a peace that allows me to finally stop asking “God what in the heck are you doing?!?” and allows me to say, “God I don’t know what in the heck you are doing, but I know I need it.” I know I need Ryan to go to Malawi. I know that there is not a more perfect way to draw selfishness out of my heart. I know there is not a more perfect way to understand how God felt when He sent HIS son as a missionary into a world where He knew they would beat him and kill him. There is not a more perfect way for God to remind me that this life is not about me.

None of this is easy to learn. None of that makes missing him hurt any less. I cry often. I cry at random times. I cry when I pass by an Acupuncture Sign, knowing that I can no longer call this knowledgable man and ask him “what in the heck do acupunctures do? And why do people pay money for that sort of thing?!?”

…but now when I cry I get to rest. I rest in His arms.

I rest in the peace of Ryan’s obedience. I rest because God has brought Ryan and I SO far in the past year individually and in our relationship. I rest because we finally were humbled to the point to listen to godly counsel and talk openly about the future of our relationship. We finally stopped rebelling and started taking steps toward wisdom.

“You younger men likewise, be subject to your elders; and all of you clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, for God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble. Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety upon Him, because He cares for you.”
-1 Peter 5:5-7

I wouldn’t be able to cry with peace if any one of these things had not happened. Peace only comes with humility through submission and casting my anxieties on the Lord.

I am so thankful for God’s grace to bring me peace through various act of obedience that I had no idea would bring me the peace I find myself in today.

My prayer is and I ask for your prayers that I would not for one day in this 9 months let Satan steal my peace. I will be sad; I will not always have it all together. But God is a God who knows about sadness. However, He is not a daddy that knows of confusion or unrest. So I pray that I will always be crying with peace in Him.

“Take My yoke upon you, and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart; and you shall find REST for your souls.”
-Matthew 11: 29