I have some questions about Mary and Joseph. They aren’t nice church questions. They are questions I have because I know that Mary and Joseph were human beings. Questions I have because I know they aren’t those meek smiling little people represented in every nativity scene that we have. They aren’t questions like “How much did you love Joseph when he proposed?”
They are questions like:
Did Mary ever lie and tell someone she wasn’t a virgin?
Did she ever get tired of feeling like a freak when she told someone that an angel appeared to her, so she just told someone she had had sex?
Did Joseph ever in a moment of wanting to feel macho with ‘the guys’ say, “Yeah I knocked up Mary before we were married…she hot, right?”
Did he ever just want to end a conversation quickly so he said he was just doing the ‘right thing’ by not leaving Mary, instead of that he had a dream where an angel of the Lord told him not to leave his fiancé?
These are questions I wonder because I know that Mary and Joseph had to be a lot like me. And although I hate to admit it, I have denied God’s work before.
I’ve had moments where it is cooler to say that I had sinned when I really hadn’t.
I’ve been tired of giving God the credit and having people look at me like I just walked off a UFO, so I’ve told a story in a more “believable” way.
I have been ashamed of amazing things that God has done and ways that He has spoken to me…so when I know someone is not going to respond well…I often just change the story.
I hate writing these things for all the world to see, but they are true.
I wish I could say I did all of these things before having a strong relationship with the Lord…but I can’t. I still mess up. I still deny Him. I still at times choose fearing men over fearing God.
I messed up big time this summer. I had these people at work asking me about my relationship with Ryan and our story in how we got back together. Instead of telling them about all the amazing things God did and how it was so hard, but I clung to the promises of my faithful God…I told them that I trusted Ryan.
I was afraid that they would think I was crazy, so I told them something easier to believe, “that the guy was this wonderful guy worthy of trust.” But as the words came out of my mouth my heart began to ache. I knew I had denied the power of the Lord. I hated myself.
It got me thinking about Mary and Joseph. I began to wonder if they had any moments like that. I have to think that sometimes the weight of what they were experiencing made them say some things they were ashamed of. Now I am not sure.
The Bible gives us no indication that they messed up in that area. So I just get to wonder. I have to know that they made some mistakes…I mean they weren't Jesus, so they had to. And that just gets me thinking about grace.
Christmas is as much about grace as Easter is. Christmas is a story of grace because God used a regular, sinful woman to carry His precious son. He used two people that He knew would mess up and fear men more than they feared God to raise His Son. It’s hard for my “works based” mind to fathom. I so much want to think that Mary and Joseph were these perfect people and that’s why God chose them…
But they weren’t.
Grace. It’s by grace He came. By grace that we can say “O come, o come Emmanuel”. It’s by grace that He chooses to reveal Himself to us. It’s by grace that He uses us to carry out His work. It’s all about grace.
I wish I could know Mary and Joseph. I wish I could sit down and have a cup of coffee and just talk to them about this experience in their life. I want to know where they messed up and where they were victorious. I want to know their hearts.
I know these people in the Bible are so much deeper than we get to see from the passages of scripture. This Christmas I am just dying to get inside Mary's and Joseph's minds. But alas, I am left to my own wonderings...so I will keep on wondering...but I think that's what this season is about, questions. Is this the Messiah? Who is this baby? How did these shepperds know where we were? Is this really the One we have been waiting for? The first Christmas was all about questions.
They are questions like:
Did Mary ever lie and tell someone she wasn’t a virgin?
Did she ever get tired of feeling like a freak when she told someone that an angel appeared to her, so she just told someone she had had sex?
Did Joseph ever in a moment of wanting to feel macho with ‘the guys’ say, “Yeah I knocked up Mary before we were married…she hot, right?”
Did he ever just want to end a conversation quickly so he said he was just doing the ‘right thing’ by not leaving Mary, instead of that he had a dream where an angel of the Lord told him not to leave his fiancé?
These are questions I wonder because I know that Mary and Joseph had to be a lot like me. And although I hate to admit it, I have denied God’s work before.
I’ve had moments where it is cooler to say that I had sinned when I really hadn’t.
I’ve been tired of giving God the credit and having people look at me like I just walked off a UFO, so I’ve told a story in a more “believable” way.
I have been ashamed of amazing things that God has done and ways that He has spoken to me…so when I know someone is not going to respond well…I often just change the story.
I hate writing these things for all the world to see, but they are true.
I wish I could say I did all of these things before having a strong relationship with the Lord…but I can’t. I still mess up. I still deny Him. I still at times choose fearing men over fearing God.
I messed up big time this summer. I had these people at work asking me about my relationship with Ryan and our story in how we got back together. Instead of telling them about all the amazing things God did and how it was so hard, but I clung to the promises of my faithful God…I told them that I trusted Ryan.
I was afraid that they would think I was crazy, so I told them something easier to believe, “that the guy was this wonderful guy worthy of trust.” But as the words came out of my mouth my heart began to ache. I knew I had denied the power of the Lord. I hated myself.
It got me thinking about Mary and Joseph. I began to wonder if they had any moments like that. I have to think that sometimes the weight of what they were experiencing made them say some things they were ashamed of. Now I am not sure.
The Bible gives us no indication that they messed up in that area. So I just get to wonder. I have to know that they made some mistakes…I mean they weren't Jesus, so they had to. And that just gets me thinking about grace.
Christmas is as much about grace as Easter is. Christmas is a story of grace because God used a regular, sinful woman to carry His precious son. He used two people that He knew would mess up and fear men more than they feared God to raise His Son. It’s hard for my “works based” mind to fathom. I so much want to think that Mary and Joseph were these perfect people and that’s why God chose them…
But they weren’t.
Grace. It’s by grace He came. By grace that we can say “O come, o come Emmanuel”. It’s by grace that He chooses to reveal Himself to us. It’s by grace that He uses us to carry out His work. It’s all about grace.
I wish I could know Mary and Joseph. I wish I could sit down and have a cup of coffee and just talk to them about this experience in their life. I want to know where they messed up and where they were victorious. I want to know their hearts.
I know these people in the Bible are so much deeper than we get to see from the passages of scripture. This Christmas I am just dying to get inside Mary's and Joseph's minds. But alas, I am left to my own wonderings...so I will keep on wondering...but I think that's what this season is about, questions. Is this the Messiah? Who is this baby? How did these shepperds know where we were? Is this really the One we have been waiting for? The first Christmas was all about questions.
So maybe I am closer to knowing Mary and Joseph than I think...
6 comments:
I love the way your mind thinks. I also love thinking about the Christmas story in a non-fairytale type way. I think more than the way we have commercialized the whole Santa bit in Christmas, I hate the way we dumb down and fairy-fy the Jesus aspect. It feels so good to think about the Christmas story the way we always sang about... but, I just can't bring myself to believe it was remotely like that at all.
Another one of those things that I want to ask Jesus himself one day!
i agree with ryan. this was refreshing to read. i've never really wondered those ?'s - but they are legit.
i'm so glad you're back. and can't wait to hear stories. when will you be in CS?
Hey my friend Jenn! I will be back in CS on January 3rd. When will you be there? I want to see you!
yes! i'll be back actually tomorrow ... i'm driving back to work on the 26th in the AM.
cant wait to see you.
My Sweet Sara,
As long as we have flesh we will screw up, sometimes royaly.
Thank you for your transparency...we need that.
God knows that we will screw up, He knew that 2,000 years ago when He picked Mary and Joseph.
And they probably did all of those things...or at least thought them.
But the important thing (and we saw this in the video at church this weekend) is that she said yes and he obeyed.
I miss you and can't wait to see you. Have a blessed Christmas day.
I love you
Kathryn
Thanks for your honesty. I can totally relate to this post. I can not count on both fingers and toes how many times I have failed to give the Lord credit for something in my life because I feared looking like an idiot in front of my family. Thank God I'm slowly overcoming that fear. I agree with you it gives you a very sick feeling in your stomach, instantly.
I love the way you offered questions about the Christmas Story. I have enjoyed thinking of it from this apsect.
I'm so grateful for the amazing ways that God has worked in your relationship with my son. We feel so blessed to have you as part of our family. You are an amazing young woman.
A little something I'm learning as I grow older. I'm beginning to realize we are not the ones that really feel like an idiot when we share what the Lord is doing in a particular area of our life. That is the devil wanting us to feel that way. I think the other person who is staring at you like you are from another planet is the one that really feels like an idiot. I know I did not word that exactly right, but I hope you understand what I'm trying to say. I believe the person staring with a blank look really longs to understand HOW God can do something so amazing. Just my opinion!
Hope you are having a great trip!
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