Sighing...

"Lord all my desire is before you; And even my sighing is not hidden from you."
-Psalm 38:9

I wish I never sighed! No I am not talking about the sigh of relief when you realize you haven't locked your keys in your car or you didn't actually forget your calculator for your midterm (Math majors have that sigh more than others maybe). I am talking about the sigh of discontentment. I am talking about the sighing of dissatisfaction. I think that is the sighing that David is talking about here. The sigh I let out when that interaction with someone close to me didn't go exactly how I wanted it to go. The sigh I let out when I feel like no one understands or no one cares. The sigh I let out when things don't go exactly how I planned. The sigh I let out when I hear a lie from the enemy and though I know its a lie, it hurts to hear. The sigh I let out when I am having one of those weeks that I just don't think I am pretty (girls, you know what I am talking about). I never realized I sighed so much until a couple of weeks ago when Christy Nockles shared this verse in Psalms with us. I thought the verse was amazing.

God cares about our sighing. But I think the most incredible thing is that this sighing comes from our inability to be satisfied in the Lord. Everything I just listed shows me that I still am not fully content in Him. The sighing is hurtful to Him...and yet he knows about it. God's will for my life is to be joyful always, praying continually, and to give him thanks (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18), I don't see sighing ANYWHERE in there. So i hate that I sigh because I know its not what God desires for me. Though He does not desire sighing; He cares about our sighs. I have been clinging to this verse ever since that night knowing that even when I am not experiencing a time of emotional distraughtness (i made up this word...so i hope you catch my meaning) or deep pain, when it is just a sigh, its not hidden from Him.

The ironic thing is a sigh is meant to be hidden. It's a sigh because its not something worth fully verbalizing because if you did, you know it would sound stupid and petty, it's just a sigh...and yet its not hidden from Him. God is so amazing! His love is so perfect and so intimate...i mean if someone can hear my sighs, He is pretty darn intimate with me. I think the beauty of that is that when I realize He hears my sighs, I realize I have no reason to be sighing. David reminds me in this Psalm that there is no area in my life that God doesn't minister to. So I put on thankfulness for this love that is so perfect and so deep. And thankfulness is the cure to discontentment which is the cure to sighing...ahh now that's a sigh of relief.